I’ve been aware of a scarcity conversation that I’ve had my whole life and I’ve been working on it for several years. Understanding the conditioning of being raised poor and how that affects my psyche.
Even when I made 6 figures I was usually broke before the next paycheck. I bought everything I wanted and I donated to every cause. Had new cars and every subscription.
Sometimes I had to borrow money to pay a bill or if an emergency came up. I would always pay it right back but then go around and around.
3 months after I moved to Peru the second time in 2023, on the summer solstice (winter in Peru), I was let go from my corporate job because the company wasn’t doing well and needed to give hours to the employees and I was a contractor.
My first reaction was deep fear.
After a few hours I started to feel as if the universe was kicking me out of my job so that I would start really doing what I’m called to do. My soul’s work.
So I stayed in Peru, I worked for a beautiful mystery school. I hosted open mic once a month, I hosted live music once a month, I held women’s vocal activation circles every other week and my whole world was being in community, having fun, scheduling classes, designing in canva, dancing and singing at ecstatic dance often and holding space for others expression.
I lived humbly and I cooked most of my meals.
What you may not know is I had a story of not being a good cook for my whole life. My mom died when I was 14 and I only learned to make processed stuff, no fresh vegetables. I never felt comfortable in the kitchen.
Today, after more than a year of being let go from the corporate job, I am loving cooking and I’m becoming quite the vegan chef, as my bestie says. I buy from the farmers market and now I understand how to budget. I understand how to not spend everything I have.
While I was still in Peru I was recognizing the reason for the scarcity. I learned to cook and I’m living the life of my dreams… almost.
I loved Peru and I missed my daughter and my friends who have become family. Of course I also miss my Peru family. So many beautiful people all over the world.
So I get the guidance to come back to the states. I had no money. My bestie offered for me to stay with her for 6 months. So incredibly grateful for this time to integrate being back in the states.
The energy in Peru is way different than here. When I arrived in Cusco in 2022 I felt a ton of dense energy leave my field.
It’s been quite something to be back at sea level. For my body to be back at this altitude. My stomach processes different. My ears are healing from being at that altitude for so long without meds. (Long story). I walked everywhere in Peru and danced often. My metabolism was different there.
Spirit has been guiding me to be back here and to create the type of community I experienced in Peru, here in Florida.
Being back in the states, brought back old mindsets. Feeling like I need to work for someone else, back to corporate. To feel safe.
The universe keeps telling me “no” to that. I didn’t get the job, no one is calling me. Because that’s the wrong direction. It’s always been really easy for me to get jobs. Usually hired on the spot.
So of course the universe doesn’t want me to backtrack into the old mindset. #roadblock #wrongdirection
So I walk.
I gave up sugar.
I’m in a coaching program. #alchemyofself
I am working on myself always.
I spoke publicly on a video asking for support… and I received support!!
So much inspiration from so many beautiful places. People reaching out with advice, resources and donations for a reliable car. I am so grateful, thank you.
I was so inspired, I redesigned my website, www.lisarene.love, and am committed to this path and the Virtual Assistant work I do.
My soul reminded me, through my community, of my decision to support humanity in the ways I am guided to.
I received the guidance so long ago to follow my bliss to my abundance.
But the fear… it was so big…
The old childhood fear of being seen. I thought it was all healed but I felt it deeply. I let myself go into the scary place willingly to feel all that is there to be felt. I sobbed. I expressed.
A friend recently suggested I do this. I am so grateful because after feeling it, and recognizing it, it went away.
I truly feel on the other side of something huge. The block to my financial freedom.
It’s gone, I’m claiming it!
I believe in myself and my capabilities.
I am ready to fully walk my path.
To trust and be trusted.
To support and be supported.
To love and be loved.
Thank you to scarcity for the huge life lessons. I am complete.
My arms are open to truly receive my dharma, to walk my path.
Thank you to everyone who shared kind energy with me.
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